Just Say Yes

Recently I've been seeing a lot of articles and discussion board posts about how to find friends and get connected when you move around often. While there are many military-related mixers and social groups and networking opportunities for us milspouses, the best advice I have comes from my friend Keekes who is not a military spouse at all. She is, however, a former full-blown Manhattan-ite now thriving in South Carolina (she's even taken to saying "y'all"), so clearly she knows what she's talking about when it comes to making friends in a new town and feeling at home. Her advice is this:

Say yes. To Everything.

If you follow this dogma, you will most likely find yourself in some very odd situations, eating some very odd food, and talking to some very odd people. Hey, at least you will end up with some great stories. And at some points along the way, you will undoubtedly find the gold nuggets of awesomeness that will be likely become very central to your life. I tried to adopt this attitude before I even met Keekes, but as someone who has always been shy and somewhat of a homebody, who has had the same friends for twenty years, and felt extremely awkward in networking situations, I usually retreated back into my hole.

When I first moved to South Carolina, I applied to grad school and was working part time from home, not meeting anyone or doing much of anything besides sitting at home waiting for The Hubs to come home from work. Then I took the first couple of steps of making meetings with the head of my graduate program and my advisor. And they were so nice and helpful! And I reached out to the only other person I knew in South Carolina, whom I had actually known since kindergarten but hadn't spoken to in years. Very out of character for me, but another success! We had a great time and through her connections I met just about all of the other friends that I now have down here, including Keekes. But Keekes was the one who reaffirmed the Say Yes path to enlightenment, and lit a fire under my bum to make more of an effort and take more joy out of life.

In this spirit I've found myself cleaning up the debri in a stranger's yard, waking up at the crack of dawn to go on group runs, calling up a girl that I had never met before to have lunch and hang out, going to a new church by myself, helping out with the children's programming at that church, reading books and acting out stories to large groups of kids alongside a big mascot, being an extra on Army Wives, going to a Martina McBride concert at the spur of the moment, pitching in to help with a student organization, and--the ultimate test--attending a mentor match night that was basically speed dating, only instead of potential dinner dates I networked with about twenty successful alumni. A couple years ago, I would never have imagined that I would go to something like that (actually I never would have imagined that I would be here at all), but it was fantastic and I totally rocked it!

Tonight I'm supposed to hang out with a group of girls from school who I don't know at all. We're going to see The Vagina Monologues and then out for drinks. And why not? It will probably be odd, but probably also fun and you never know what kind of a role these girls might end up playing in my life. I have more plans on the horizon to do more volunteering, with Relay For Life, with various literacy outreach projects, and participating in the Patchwork Storytelling Festival. I've even considered going to the library at Fort Jackson to participate in their Victory Crafters group. They knit blankets for soldiers, and I don't even know how to knit. But why not? Every time I say yes I meet new people and add another enriching experience to my life. So I will reiterate the key to making yourself at home no matter where you are or how many people you know. Let's all say it together now:

Say Yes To Everything!

Thanks, Keekes. You are a true gold nugget of awesomeness in my life, and the originator of many random and wonderful experiences. Feel free to comment and share with the readers some of the crazy things you've gotten yourself into by living the Say Yes life. Here's a smattering of mine: