Tuning Out (Temporarily)

A while ago I wrote about not having much time to sit around and pine for my geo-bachelor husband. Well, apparently I have a lot of time to sit around and stare zombie eyed at the television, because I've been doing a whole lot of that lately. It all started so innocently. I would turn the TV on just for background noise so the house wasn't so quiet and empty feeling. But the problem with that was I ended up listening to the background noise, and getting sucked into watching Kardashian marathons and Teen Mom finale specials. Then I was using it as an avoidance tactic instead of doing work for my painfully boring research class. And then it was just because I was in a bit of a shlump, and half the time I wasn't even watching a show because nothing even slightly good was on; I just flipped mindlessly through the commercials instead of trying to do something more interesting.

With deadlines looming, and my spirit slipping into self loathing after realizing that I was watching the same reruns more than once in the same day, I decided it was time for a detox. I was shooting for 24 hours sans TV, but it turns out that I really do have a lot of other things I can and should be doing. Things like finishing a paper and doing laundry and cooking dinner and taking my dog for a walk and finishing a beautiful, heart-wrenching novel. (No, I wasn't playing favorites. The other pup was at the park with his bff, a certain spunky black lab). And, I'm very much enjoying the silence. The weather is cool and the crickets are chirping and my windows are open to the breeze, and it's peaceful. That is, until the neighbors decide to have another raucous party. It's been 46 hours so far since my last reality TV fix, and considering my plans for the rest of the weekend, I think I might actually make it much longer.

Que Sera, Sarah

It's no coincidence that my name fits in so nicely with this well-known phrase sung by the glorious Doris Day. It happens to be my personal motto. Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be. Or as I like to say, "toast is toast." It's a relaxed but confident, optimistic yet objective, tolerant and open-to-possibilities mindset that I tend towards. This is not to say that I don't make plans, have goals, try my best to reach them, or occasionally get stressed out. I just don't feel the need to know all the answers or hold grudges, and I generally feel like everything will eventually shake out the way it's supposed to. Not everyone can understand or agree with such a laissez faire attitude, but it works for me--in my approach to friendships and day-to-day problems, to religion and my relationship with God, and even when someone cuts me off on the highway. My family likes to tell this story about how, as a child, if someone made me angry I would booby trap my room out of spite so they couldn't come in. I'm all for funny and embarrassing stories from youth, but every time this one is told it really bothers me because the point of telling it is to demonstrate that I hang on to ill feelings with vindictiveness, and this is so contrary to who I actually am.

I've been thinking a lot about this lately, becoming reflective and self-assessing as my birthday came and went. And I can honestly say, with no egotism, that I really like who I am. When I think about how I treat people, how I treat myself, and how I spend my time, I realize that I am the person who I want to be. This was kind of a surprising realization, since that was definitely not always the case. I know that I needed to spend many years floundering and making mistakes in order to get here, and I know that I'm not done evolving. But for now, it's nice to have wonderful friends and family, a fabulous husband, adorable and goofy pets to pour love into, good health, and to know that I've finally found what I really want to do career wise. As I roll into my 27th year on this planet, I am filled an attitude of gratitude, and a sense of infinite possibilities.

Cheers,

Sarah

Kitchen Mishmash

I love cookbooks. I mean, I really love all books. But I find well-designed, well-photographed, easy-to-follow cookbooks totally irresistible. And that's why I have a large collection of them currently overflowing the cabinet space above our microwave. But do I actually use them? Not really.

There's more where this came from.

That I finally realize this is not going to make me stop buying lovely cookbooks. It's just a fresh observation and I'm wondering if anyone else has a similar passionate/passive relationship to theirs. Every now and then I will pull them all out, read through them, and dog-ear the pages of the really yummy looking recipes I'd like to try. But unless I'm having a dinner party (which unfortunately is not very often) those dog-eared pages will remain stuffed together in the cabinet, unused. My daily dinner routine is to thaw some kind of meat, and then...do something with it. And try to make it somewhat healthy and include several food groups. I pull things out of the fridge and pantry and then just kind of throw stuff together. Sometimes the results are a tolerable "meh" or a dubious "hmmmmm." But others, like tonight, are actually quite tasty. I like exercising my creativity and resourcefulness--I can throw together a mean Leftover Surprise! But surely my culinary skills would improve if I actually followed directions?

I seem to come up with more goals for self-improvement every day, but perhaps I'll add yet another one to the list: make at least one meal from an actual recipe per week. I'm sure The Hubs will be glad :)

Bon Appétit,

Sarah

p.s. Here is the kitchen mishmash we had tonight: Greek-Inspired Tilapia. It certainly sounds fancy-pants, doesn't it? I covered the fish filets with some olive oil, lemon juice, red onion and green olives (both finely diced). Salt and pepper, of course. Oh, and I also drizzled on some of the chili-pepper oil we make and always have on hand. Then I baked them in a 350 degree oven for 15 minutes (the last minute under the broiler to make sure the top looked nice and golden). Meanwhile, I made a potato hash on the stovetop: potatoes diced like home fries and sauteed with onion and garlic, and then cut-up asparagus tossed in during the last 5 minutes or so. Not bad for something conjured up out of thin air, if I do say so myself.

p.p.s. I do always use recipes when I'm baking. Because I am just not that good, and the margin of error is too high. But I don't bake very often (see above remark about trying to eat healthy).

Before & After

Posting some photos of a few rectified Loose Ends in an attempt to keep myself motivated:

Half torn off sticker on cabinet for two months...
gone in two minutes with a little Goo Gone and a paper towel.

I have been meaning to paint and put knobs on this once-ugly 70s side table for about five years.
The cute knobs are from World Market -- one of my very favorite stores!

The mountain of boxes was from wedding gifts, which started rolling in around
September 2010. We put the blow-up mattress out there in November 2010
when we had family in town for our wedding. Then the sun room became a full-blown
toss-it-in-there-close-the-door-and-forget-about-it room, until I finally cleared it out last month.
And it took all of ten minutes to load up all the boxes and take them to the recycle bin down the street. 

It's really amazing--and ridiculous--how long I've put off some of these projects, when most of them take only a couple minutes to finish. Next up: finish my taxes (more on this later) and organize my office, which is unfortunately not a simple a two-minute job!

Time Out

Well by now you should all realize that I'm quite the "joiner." Whether it's a fun get-together with friends, a volunteer opportunity, something extra at work, special school events and lectures, etc., I will almost always say "yes!" The upside to this is that I meet a lot of great people, have a lot of fun, learn a lot of new things, and gain some great experience. The downside is that there are only so many hours in a day, and when you say "yes" to everything you can easily end up having something planned for every waking moment. I have not yet learned the art of steadily balancing when to join in and when to politely decline, because it all sounds so interesting and I really would like to do everything. I enjoy having a busy schedule, but sometimes I just have to give myself a Time Out.

This week is Spring Break and, like always, there are so many wonderful opportunities that my "week off" was swiftly becoming even busier than a normal week. It all started last Friday, when I had a morning meeting with my mentor, followed by a Relay For Life team meeting, running errands, and then meeting a friend for dinner and the ballet. Saturday and Sunday were spent running more errands, working on school assignments, getting a haircut, going to a dinner party, and driving to Charleston and back for the Army Wives premier party. Monday I left bright and early for a two-day trip to rural Hampton County with Cocky's Reading Express. We did eight literacy events in those two days, meeting thousands of young students and their parents, waking up super early and driving back and forth all over the state. All of these things were awesome and exhausting in a wonderfully fulfilling way.

Once I got back from the CRE trip Tuesday night, I made a valiant effort to continue being productive, even rearranging and cleaning our guest room as soon as I got home. Then I sat down in front of the computer to check my email, and when I saw the hundreds of new messages needing responses, I hit my limit. My brain had finally crossed over from energizing stimulation to plain old overstimulation, and I just could not make myself sort through everything. It was Time Out time. Wednesday I got up as usual, fed the animals...and then did absolutely nothing for many, many hours. I sat on the couch, watched TV, read magazines, snuggled with my pets, and did not change out of my pajamas until four o'clock in the afternoon. It was delicious.

But then I got dressed, and played with the dogs, and cleaned up the yard, and exercised for an hour and a half, and went back to checking things off my revolving to-do list. Kids never appreciate Time Outs, but as an adult, I have come to realize that the ability to give self Time Outs is an art and a virtue. And a sanity saver. Thanks to my day of unapologetic slothfulness, I am now ready to tackle the rest of the week, which will consist of a lot of school work, and dealing with many more Loose Ends.

Do you give yourself Time Outs? Or have you actually figured out how to have a balanced life so you don't need them? What are some of the best ways you've found to "re-charge" if you can take a whole day, half day, an hour, or only 15 minutes? I'm always up for trying something new! ;)

Unraveled No More?

(not my photo)

I am a procrastinator. There, I've said it. And because of this character trait, I tend to accumulate a variety of loose ends until my life looks like a metaphorical fringed poncho...all encompassing, and seriously un-cute.

Thus, I have dubbed this Loose Ends Month! and I am swiftly tying off as many of those little frayed edges as possible. It's amazing how satisfying it is to check off even the smallest "to do" from my list. So far I've taken Ollie to the vet, returned days later to drop off his stool sample (lovely, I know), returned a stack of library books and paid my late fees, sent out a lot of emails and made some phone calls I've been meaning to, washed all our cloth grocery bags, mailed a sweater back to a friend, sent off our last two wedding gift thank you cards, scheduled a BYOB painting class, re-filled the sugar canister, cleaned out the inside of my car, procured my new married-name social security card and drivers license, and took care of a LOT of name-change hullabaloo with bank accounts, credit cards, car insurance, etc.

I still need to take a huge load of boxes to the recycling center, make doctor, dentist, and haircut appointments, finish a DIY project, get my bike tuned up, take a stack of clothes to get tailored and/or dry-cleaned, figure out our taxes, make some more phone calls to catch up with friends, sand down the door of our china cabinet so it opens and closes easier, and finally remove the stickers that came on our bathroom cabinet and have stayed there long after putting it together. Seeing as I have only two more days left in the month (darn you, February, for being condensed!) I will probably have some leftover fringe.

And because I seem to accumulate new loose ends as fast as I can tie off the old ones, I figure every month for the rest of my life will be Loose Ends Month. But whose isn't? As long as I'm steadily snipping away at everything, I feel a little less frazzled and a little more pulled together.

What are some of the random to-do's that you've been avoiding? You know, all those little (or big) things you walk past and notice twelve times a day without actually addressing. Please let me know that I'm not the only one!  :)

Cheers,
Sarah

Brain Delay

This morning I woke up, washed my face, brushed my teeth, combed my hair, did my makeup, dressed for work, let the dogs in and out, made breakfast, packed my lunch, poured my coffee, walked out of the house, locked the door, got into the car and then finally realized that--hey wait a minute, I can't see anything! Why? Because I never put my glasses on. And then suddenly all the stumbling around and dropping things and tripping over hazy inanimate objects (or possibly animate...how would I know?) finally made sense. It was a good thing I needed to sit with the defroster running for a while this morning, otherwise I could have killed someone just trying to pull out of the driveway.

I guess it's like when you have the same commute every day until habit finally takes over and you can make it home while only paying attention with half a brain cell. Scary, but it happens. But when it does happens, I am usually at least wearing my corrective eyewear.

'Doh!
Sarah

p.s. Don't ask how my hair and makeup looked.

The Beginning

I started this blog for many reasons: to share, to explain, to vent, to remember, to allow my family and friends to keep up with us as we inevitably move around with the military, and to make a contribution to the mil-spouse blogosphere so others might get a more well-rounded glimpse into the unique kinds of people who make up this community. I didn't grow up in the military and am still very much on the learning curve. But I'm now a part of it, and it of me, and I have my own unique take on things.

Not everything I write will be about the military, of course. Like all other military spouses, while I am very proud to be included in that group, there is so much more to my life than that. This will just be...me. And my family. Written up and sent spiraling out into the interwebs.

For now, I will just start with "hello."

Cheers,
Sarah

p.s. The name of this blog comes from our marriage vows:

"I take you, to be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I promise to support you and sustain you, to treat you lovingly and with respect, to speak with honesty and to listen with an open heart. In times of joy and sorrow, in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, I will be a faithful, committed partner to you, through all our years and all that life may bring us."